Threshold

He still couldn't believe it! Here he was, sitting outside the brig where Commander Mira Shepard was incarcerated. The Hero of the Blitz and the Citadel, the first human Spectre, and daughter to the notable Captain Hannah Shepard. James Vega looked at the sleeping form of the woman behind the force field. Sorrow etched her face, her eyes moving rapidly in some dream or nightmare. They would be at Earth in a couple of hours but James took Anderson's orders to heart.

"You must protect her at any cost, Vega! Never leave her side, no matter what happens. That woman has a very important mission and it is beyond the call of the Alliance or the Council to keep her from it."

"Yes, sir." James said enthusiastically.

He did just that. Except to use the head, he remained at Shepard's side. They didn't really talk as she slept most of the time, even if she was mostly tossing and turning. James bolted upright when Shepard screamed and sat upright with a start on her bunk. Slapping his hand on the force field release, he rushed to her side. Her blue eyes were wide open but dark and unseeing. She whimpered as tears ran down her face.

James tentatively put his hands on her shoulders and shook Shepard gently. "Commander, wake up."

She blinked slowly, the darkness in her eyes receding. James rubbed Shepard's arms gently, trying to offer any comfort to the woman. He couldn't imagine what she was going through right now. He had his own disaster but the events of Arahtot were on a level that would send normal soldiers to the great beyond. So, why didn't Shepard break, James wondered? What was keeping this woman together?

"Lieutenant?" Shepard broke into his thoughts.

"You were having a nightmare, ma'am."

"Nightmare? I wish it were so, Vega." She sighed heavily, turning her face toward the wall. "I sometimes wish it was all a dream and I would wake up back at the cabin, like nothing happened."

"Anderson briefed me somewhat on what happened but…" James started to ask Shepard but his voice trailed off. He shouldn't be asking about a mission of a superior officer.

Shepard stared at the blank wall, silent tears still flowing down her cheeks. "The Special Forces motto is do what it takes to get the mission done. I've been living with that for over ten…ten years. I've done things that a regular soldier wouldn't. I've regretted some of my decisions but I can't wallow in the 'what ifs' too long or I will crumble."

"I hate to contradict you, ma'am, but you are starting to crack a little." This made Shepard look at James with a puzzled look. He gave her a small smile, releasing her shoulders. "Permission to speak freely, ma'am?"

"Go ahead."

"How long have these nightmares gone on? It seems that you haven't a good night's sleep in a long time and are at the point of exhaustion. That itself is enough to make any normal person crack under the pressure, given the situation that you are in."

"Are we a shrink now, Lieutenant?" She cocked her head to the side, the corners of Shepard's mouth twitching upwards a little.

"Nah. Just a soldier who has experienced something similar. You push away all the negative shit aside because you have to remain focused on the mission but eventually, it does catch up with you."

"You haven't experienced this, Vega. I'm heading to a firing squad because of my decision to sacrifice thousands of innocents, just to keep a race of sentient machines from coming to our home a little early. The Reapers are coming regardless of my slowing them down. Was what I did worth it in the end?" Shepard said bitterly.

"Was it worth it? You gave us a little room to breathe and prepare."

Shepard snorted and stared hard at the young lieutenant. "Prepare? No one is prepared! I've warned the Council until I was blue in the face, provided evidence that these…THINGS exist and what do I get? I'm ridiculed and pushed aside for making up stories to satisfy my ego. These," She held her fingers up in air quotes, such as the Turian councilor had given her, "Reapers haven't been around in 50,000 years and are not a threat now."

"You know what? Those politicians are full of bullshit." James shook his head. "Your record should speak for your integrity and honor, that what you have done and said in the past should not be easily dismissed."

"I'm glad I got a fan, Vega, for you are one of the few in this galaxy that has faith in me." Shepard lowered her head.

"Hey, I beat up a bar full of Batarians because of the shit they were saying about you over the vid." James chuckled. "'Sides, I wouldn't be here watching your fine ass if Anderson or Hackett didn't have faith in you."

Shepard shot her face up at James open comment, to which he smiled at her unabashedly. "You are a quite forward man, aren't you, Vega?"

"I tell it like it is, ma'am."

"Well, you are at least honest." Shepard chuckled.

"Good, you are laughing! Seriously, Commander, there are people out there that believe in you, more than you know."

"I know but it doesn't change the fact that I sentenced a whole system to death."

"You tried to give them warning." James sobered. "That is something."

She sighed and nudged James off of the cot. Once he moved, Shepard swung her legs over and stood up. Standing up himself, James watched as this decorated hero and soldier stretched the kinks out of her body. He bit the inside of his cheek as he couldn't help but feel a certain amount of attraction to the woman. However, Shepard was his charge and a superior officer; such intimate thoughts were best left alone.

"We have a couple of hours yet, Commander, before we arrive. Want to pass the time with a game of cards?" James grinned boyishly.

"Is entertaining prisoner's part of the job duty?" Shepard grinned.

He shrugged, "Dunno but I am bored and need a distraction. I am sure there are going to be plenty of days here like this, so we might as well get friendly."

Shepard laughed and shook her head. James couldn't help but notice that her blue eyes twinkled with genuine mirth. Good, if he could keep that twinkle in her eyes, then Shepard wouldn't sink into that spiral of despair that he noticed she was close to. He didn't know what the trial was going to be like but Shepard had to be in a positive frame of mind for the proceedings.

-/*\-

Mira laid her cards down, showing a four-of-a-kind to the lieutenant across from her. He shook his head in disbelief but slowly cocked a grin at her before laying out his hand. "Oh, come on! You cheated!" Mira cried out as she stared at the flush that trumped her cards.

"Hardly. Papa taught me a great poker face." James grinned as he sat back in his chair and laced his hands behind his head.

"No shit! I hope you wiped the floor with those Batarians on Omega!" His grin widened to which Mira laughed. "Remind me not to play against you when creds are involved."

"Commander," Joker interrupted the pair. "We are approaching home relay. ETA is under thirty minutes."

Mira stared upwards and sighed deeply. "Thanks, Joker. Take the Normandy home."

"Anderson left me some blues for you. When you leave the Normandy, he wanted to make sure you left with dignity, standing proud as an Alliance officer." James leaned over the table and took up the playing cards. "This is the time where I get to release you from the brig and escort you back to the Loft, so you can have a few moments to change and whatever."

"That is considerate." Mira said quietly. Her fingers tapped against the small crate they pulled over to use as a card table. The time was nearing for her move to a more permanent holding facility leading to her trial. Mira's thoughts turned to Kaidan and wondered at what he was doing. She hadn't heard from him since their time at the Citadel when she got back from the Omega relay. That was when he was surrounded by Cerberus and yelling at her to leave.

The two other guards Anderson left behind showed up just as James waited for Mira to walk out of the brig. Mira's implants hummed loudly after being suppressed for a few hours and caused her to wince. Shaking out her hands to relieve the prickly feeling in her hands, Mira followed her guard escort up to her quarters. When they arrived, the young marines stationed themselves at the elevator while Vega followed her inside.

"You are going to watch me dress too?" Mira questioned the lieutenant.

"If you want me to but I think that is bit inappropriate, no?" James's eyes sparked with humor.

"Good to see you do have a sense of humor, lieutenant." Mira smiled half-heartedly.

"Taking the doctor's advice, ma'am."

Shaking her head, Mira headed down to the main portion of the cabin, where the Alliance dress uniform was laid out for her on the bed, along with polished half boots and the Star of Terra winking at her in the soft lighting. Anderson thought of everything. He wanted everyone to see the accomplished hero and remind them that Shepard was no traitor. Her fingers ran over the lieutenant commander bars on the shoulders and over to the brass buttons that fastened the front of the dress jacket. A crisp white, banded collar shirt lay next to the jacket, tailored for her feminine form. Mira felt James watching her as she looked over the uniform and turned to him, eyebrow raised.

"I…I will be up here, sitting at the desk. Um, maybe play with that hamster or…something." He stammered, giving a light blush and nearly stumbling as the man walked backwards to Mira's 'office' area.

She shucked out of the everyday duty uniform and proceeded to dress. As Mira put each article of the dress uniform on, nostalgia swam over her. Flashbacks of graduation from OCS, the award ceremony after Elysium, and then after the defeat of Sovereign, flooded through her. Then came all the faces of the men and women she served with in her career, and those that died in the name of the Alliance. Ashley's warm face and irresolute faith threatened to make Mira cry as she remembered the chief reciting Tennyson.

Mira's hands shook as she buttoned the last button to her shoulder of the dress jacket. The last piece to add to the whole ensemble was her medals. Clamping her mouth tightly to keep from crying, Mira's picked up the Star of Terra and pinned it to her chest. The next medal, which Anderson had personally left for her, was the Ascension Star. It wasn't the original that was given to her, as that was lost on the SR1, but a replacement. Her hand and lips trembled, as Mira attempted to attach the medal next to the other.

"Fuck!" Mira cried out, wincing as the sharp pin stuck her finger.

"What?" James rushed down from the upper loft and stopped dead in his tracks. His mouth hung open as he gazed at Mira, dressed in formal military regalia. Snapping his body in line, he gave a sharp salute to Mira.

"At ease, soldier!" Mira blew out in exasperation, sucking on the pricked finger.

"Giving respect to the commander, ma'am." His lips twitched. "Do you need help?"

"No…" Mira snapped and hissed as her fingers failed again to get the Ascension Star closed. She yanked off the medal and was about to throw it in disgust when James' large hand took it from hers.

"You know, it doesn't hurt to ask for help once in a while, Shepard."

"I don't know why I should bother with the damn thing." Mira grumbled.

"Appearance, Shepard, it's all about appearance." James loomed over Mira as he gently poked the medal through the material of the dress jacket, in perfect alignment with the other medal and secured the clasp. He gave it a little tug to help straighten it and smiled down at her.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Mira said and clenched her jaw against the vulnerability that she felt at the moment. Too many memories floated in her head at that time as she dressed and then this young lieutenant's respect for her made Mira feel self-conscious. She wished Kaidan was here. So much time was lost and now, she was heading to a fate that was uncertain for her career and continuance toward the fight against the Reaper's invasion.

"Commander, we have arrived at Earth station. There is a shuttle waiting to take you London, where Admiral Hackett is waiting." EDI announced.

"Thank you, EDI. EDI…tell the crew…" Mira swallowed.

"They know, Shepard." EDI said, using Mira's moniker uncharacteristically.

"It's show time, Commander." James said, a slight hitch in his throat. He clumsily cleared it and waited for Mira to precede him. On the way out of the cabin, he grabbed his pistol and attached it to his hip.

The other guards snapped to attention as they saw an officer approach. The one guard was about to step forward with the restraints but James shook his head. Mira watched the interplay and left it alone, trusting that the marine lieutenant knew what his orders were for escorting Mira to Earth.

Once they exited the elevator in the CIC and walked to the docking hatch, Mira's eyes widened in surprise to see the remaining crew of the Normandy SR2 lined on either side of the catwalk. Jacob's voice called out, calling everyone to attention. The resounding clap of booted feet on the deck standing together in sync, made Mira's eyes blink back tears. Men and women raised their right arm up to give her a salute, whether they were former Alliance or Cerberus.

Her escort paused at the end of the retinue, waiting. She looked over to James with a questioning look.

"You are still the captain of the Normandy, ma'am. This walk you go unescorted until you are off ship."

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Mira gave a slight trembling grateful smile.

He returned her smile and snapped a salute, followed by her other guards. Mira swallowed the lump that formed in her throat and slowly walked down the clear aisle between the gathered crew. She gave each crewmember eye contact and a nod, some a smile. These men and women survived the Collector's Base, a little worse for wear but they remained with her after Mira cut ties from the Illusive Man. As she stopped in front of the engineering team, Donnelly and Gabi, Mira took a hold of their hands.

"You have been the best team I have worked with. I hope that you will find something to do after I am gone."

"Commander, we wouldn't think of leaving the Normandy. We will demand the Alliance keep us because they need us. After all, we know the gal inside and out." The Scotsman grinned crookedly.

"They would be stupid to dismiss your expertise, Donnelly." Mira nodded in agreement.

"And me and him, we are a team. He stays so do I." Gabi chimed in.

"Just take care of my ship, you two." Mira nodded, feeling fresh tears prick at her eyes. She missed Tali, as the quarian should have been here.

Mira continued the review right to the end, where Miranda, Jacob, Jack, Garrus, Chakwas, and Grunt stood at the cockpit entry. Joker was nowhere to be found.

"For what it's worth, Shepard," Miranda started, her icy demeanor thawed, "it has been a pleasure serving with you."

"That means a lot coming from you, Miranda." Mira smiled back. "What will you do now?"

"I don't know." Miranda actually fidgeted uncomfortably. "I'm a former Cerberus agent and director. I don't think the Alliance will just let me walk freely about."

"Talk with Hackett, Miranda." Mira told the curvy woman. "He will help you. And in extent, Jacob too."

"I just might do that."

"Battlemaster," Grunt rumbled as Mira turned to him. "I want to go back to Tuchanka. Wrex said he might have a place for me in his clan."

"Then go, Grunt. I will always be your battlemaster but you are now of clan Urdnot. There is a war coming and I need you to prepare."

The large youthful krogan grunted, slamming his fist across his chest in respect to Mira. "I will help Wrex prepare the others, Shepard. We will not abandon you."

Next came Garrus, her brother-in-arms and her best friend. He had been through thick and thin with her since they chased Saren. The turian never questioned her mission or their friendship. When Mira discovered that Archangel was Garrus, she laughed at the irony but was happy to be reunited with an old friend. Garrus never thought twice about Shepard being who she was. After all, he was loyal to her and even if she worked with the Reapers, Garrus would be there at her side.

"This isn't over yet, Shepard. They can't keep you locked up forever on such flimsy charges. There is no concrete proof."

"That may be, old friend, but even if charges were dropped, I'm most likely will be losing my commission and Spectre status. "

"They can't do that!" Garrus growled.

"Garrus, they can. I am still an officer of the Alliance Navy and Marine corps."

"But the Reapers!"

She laid a hand on his arm to calm the avian alien, looking into his dark blue eyes. "It will be alright. Stop fighting everything, Garrus. If you see Kaidan…"

"Pfft, tell him yourself, Shepard. He won't be away from your side come the trial. And if what Anderson says is true about dragging Udina out here, you bet he will be there in the courtyard, at your side."

"Take care, Garrus." Mira gave him a shaky smile.

"Be good, Mira, and be strong." Garrus patted at her shoulder and grinned.

As she turned to face the docking hatch, Mira noted the open door and the awaiting Alliance soldiers to escort her to the shuttle to London, home to the Alliance Parliament. She felt Vega's looming presence behind her. Mira was saddened to have not seen Joker before disembarking the Normandy. Sighing deeply, she took her final steps off the ship she commanded for nearly the past year.

"Shepard!" the pilot's voice called out behind her. "Where do you think you are going?"

Her mouth twitched as she turned toward the voice of the gimp pilot hobbling as fast as he could on his strengthened legs. "In case the memo didn't reach your desk, I have a reservation at the lovely hotel Alliance Naval brig."

The snarky pilot snorted and stood in front of Mira and her guards. He eyed them suspiciously and Vega outright hostilely. "Then you are forgetting something, Commander." Joker straightened as upright as he could, wincing only the tiniest bit before giving the only salute of respect to an officer in the Alliance Navy ever. Hackett and Anderson never received a salute from Jeff "Joker" Morreau. When Mira nodded acceptance, Joker grinned crookedly and doffed off his ball cap. Turning it in his hands, he looked up at Mira and gently placed it on her head.

Leaning in to her, kissing at Mira's cheek, Joker whispered in her ear. "You better bring this back to me, Mir. This is on loan, you hear?"

"I will fight to keep this hat with me until I see you again, Jeff." Mira promised as she looked straight into his green eyes.

Joker swept Mira into a huge hug and held her for a couple of minutes, heedless of crushing the dress uniform into wrinkles. Thankfully, the material was wrinkle-proof and Mira didn't need to worry about looking out of uniform.

"Commander, it's time to go." Vega politely informed Mira.

Mira stepped away from Joker, her eyes shining now as she swallowed back the tears. She had to remain strong and not show the new escort any weakness. The pilot nodded to her and gave Mira a shooing gesture. Getting one last glimpse of the Normandy family, Mira turned away and faced an uncertain future.